Saturday, 12 September 2015

For Bonnie

I'm missing you so much today.

Bonnie's Funeral & Her Legacy

Graphic by Bonnie's beloved aunty Hevva

I wanted to do something in in my angel's memory. I had already made the fureverbook and dedicated it to her, not knowing she would go so soon. I wondered if doing that had prompted God to take my baby so suddenly. I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what crossed my mind.

After losing Bonnie on Tuesday, there was a lot of uncertainty as to when I would get her ashes back, or even which day she would be collected from the vet's mortuary and taken to the crematorium. I'd chosen an individual cremation for her. The vet told me she would be collected Friday, so was unsure when she would be cremated and when the ashes would be returned to them so I could bring her home. This only made everything more painful to bear. Where was my baby, when was she going to be cremated, so many questions, questions that no petparent needs when they are grieving the loss of their furbaby.

I rang the pet crematorium to find out if she had been collected from the vets mortuary on Friday as expected and when I could expect her ashes, the vet had said it would be either Tuesday or Friday. It's always a mystery where they are, when they are actually cremated and when you can get the ashes. So many uncertainties.

The very kind man who I spoke to yesterday (Friday) said she was there and asked me if I wanted to attend the cremation. I said I didn't know that was possible and he said yes it was and a few pet parents often attend their furbabies funerals. The crematorium can also get the furbaby ready and the petparents can visit them in the chapel of rest before the service. Yes the crematorium holds a little service before the body is taken away to be cremated.

I didn't know that either, and the man said they always have a little service before cremation, whether the furbaby is cremated individually or amongst other furbabies who's petparents can't afford an individual cremation.

I was amazed. Why isn't this made available to all petparents who's furbaby has died, it gives comfort and closure to them and eases the pain of losing them a little.

The man said he would rearrange his list and Bonnie's 'funeral' would be at 1.30pm on Monday. To give me time to get there from where I live. He asked me if I wanted to see her before the commital and I said yes I would, so she will be put in a little basket on a fluffy blanket and he said she will just look as if she's asleep and I can say my goodbyes and have closure. So that's what I'm going to do.

Once they take her after the service, I can either wait in their waiting room, where they provide coffee, or if weather permits walk around the gardens of remembrance. It takes 2hrs from the commital.

My dear friend @Biddybt's mother, and Biddy are driving 3hrs to go with me, and we will give Bonnie the send off all loved pets deserve and bring her ashes home with us. I am so grateful to Biddy's mother, she is a rock and a wonderful friend and I love her very much. I hope I can repay her kindness but in a more happy way when or if she needs a good friend.

I want to set something up in my darling Bonnie's memory that will help petparents who want to attend their pets funeral, and help them arrange it, as we are all in no state emotionally to ask if it is possible. I'd also like to tie in with that, some sort of charity that people can donate to so that if anyone needs an individual cremation or pet burial, but don't have the funds to do so, there will be the money to pay for it. Its heartbreaking enough to lose a pet, and if you have to let them go amongst other furbabies when you'd much rather have their ashes back or want or need to give them a dignified send off by attending their funeral, then there will be somewhere to go for advice and help.

It's really brutal emotionally when they are put to sleep at the vets, They pass over the bridge and then they're taken away by the vet. We are emotional wrecks and leave them there, not knowing what is going to happen to them. We don't know when they will be collected, when they will be cremated or buried, and when we will get their ashes back if that's what we want. We are in no state to ask, we are consumed with grief and sobbing our hearts out, and we have to walk out and leave them behind not knowing what is going to happen to them.

So for a week and sometimes longer we're grieving terribly and mourning our furbabies, until we get a call from our vet to say the ashes can be collected. Then we have the pain all over again, after some healing has taken place the few days previous, the heartbreak comes back again with the tsunami of tears as we collect them from the vet.

From euthenasia to receiving the ashes or the 'funeral' we have no idea whats happening to them or when. And that makes the grieving so much the worse. We don't get proper closure and our furbabies aren't treated with the respect in death that they deserve.

We have funerals for humans, so why not animals? We attend human funerals and although we are terribly upset, we can get closure after the terrible ordeal of losing them, whether we lose them suddenly or over time, by accident or from illness.

So I want to set up something in memory of dear Bonnie. There are many charities for different things, disabled pets, blind dogs, animal rescues, but there's nothing to fill that gap from losing them to accepting they are over the bridge at peace, no knowledge out there or advice on how we can attend their cremation or burial at the pet cemetary we can give them the send off they deserve and receive comfort and closure by doing so. Which inevitably will ease the heartache and grief we feel.

Even now, although I have been in such deep deep depths of sorrow and grief, and had periods of uncontrollable sobbing and weeping, once I knew I could see my baby again and send her off with prayers and poems and with the love I've given her all her short life, it has given me great comfort. And I know she is in Heaven looking down and approving.

If anyone who lives near or not too far from Penzance in Cornwall want to attend her funeral, please feel free to come, she would have approved and I would so love to see you there at her final journey.

If you would like to show your respect for her I think she'd like donations to an animal charity. I would like donatons in the UK to the PDSA because from the beginning of our journey through her short life, I didn't have the funds to pay for her vet bills, and the PDSA help petparents when they need help the most, when their furbabies are poorly.

Here is the link: PDSA UK DONATIONS

After I moved house, I was unable to get help from the PDSA as none of the vets in my area would accept her as she was so poorly, which was very upsetting as my baby needed veterinary help so often, and I had no cash to spare to cover it. It was then that I opened the yourcaring page for her when she was first diagnosed with SARDS and then shortly afterwards Cushings, and she was able to survive because her dear friends and their parents donated to her vet meds fund. Thank you my friends for that.

If you live in America or Canada, perhaps you could donate to the similar organisations there.

Here are a couple of links to American and Canadian organisations that help with vet bills. The Humane Society USA Paws USA

I'm sure if you search on Google there will be a charity that helps with bills. I hope there is one there that can help you.

I know that once she has sorted out everything in Heaven she will be back to Twitter as Angel Bonnie, she wll continue her blog to help petparents and furs as much as she can, and we will at least have our Angel Bonnie once again in our lives as she rattles those bedpans and twangs those rubber gloves in Heaven.

The outpouring of grief and love on Twitter since she was taken ill on Monday, her passing on Tusday and since, has been overwhelming, she meant so much to so many. I am extremely touched by people's kindness and support, and an opening of hearts who have gone through the same thing either recently or in the past. I have heard some heart wrenching stories from still grieving petparents, and hav cried for them too.

The support has been so wonderful and I will be eternally grateful for your kindness and caring.

To my beautiful fur angel you will constantly be in my heart and thoughts.