Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Shrove Chewsday & Anipal Pancaykes

Well its Shrove Chewsday and da hoomans will be actin like wallies latur flingin soggy battur all ova da place wen dey try an flip dem pancaykes ova. *rolls eyes* Wot are dey like? Kids dat wot!

Anyway I fort as dey gonna be stuffin demselves wif pancaykes filled wif all kinds of stuff and makin porkers out of demselves, we shud get in on da akshun an get dem to make special anipal pancaykes.

So here's da recipe for doggy ones furst, den gonna print a kitteh one too.

Got a pencil and paper? Hurry up I int got all day. Rite here goes:

Yoo'll need:

2 free range eggs
1 cup low fat or skimmed milk
1 & 1/2 tablespoons ov melted butter
1 teaspoon ov honey
1 cup wholemeal flour
1/2 a cup of plain white flour
1 teaspoon ov bakin powder
1/2 a teaspoon ov ground cinnamon

Metal cookie cutters not plastic cuz dey melts and makes mess an plastic not very tasty either.

Makes 10-12 small pancaykes or 3 or 4 gurt bigguns.

How to make 'em

1. Whisk togevva eggs, milk, honey, and butter

2. Add flours, cinnamon and bakin powder. Beat da dry ingredients in wif a wooden spoon cuz ovverwise it goes all ova da place an makes a mess and yoo getz it all in yoor fur.
You shud now haf a thick gloopy mess in da bowl. Hoomans call it batter.

3. Get yoor hooman to heat a greased fry pan or omlit pan and dollop sum ov da batter into cookie cutter or if yoo hooman only got plastic cookie cutters or non at all cuz dey can't or won't cook us cookies, den pour enuff batter in da pan to cover da base and about 1/4inch thick. You can get dem to cut shapes out of da big pancayke wen it cooked if dey can manage dat, if not dey gonna haf to chop it up, it no good slingin it in our drekshon in a big lump like a soggy frisbee.

4. Wait 1 or 2 minutes for bubbles to form in da mixture in da pan and to pop an disappear den find a suitable hiding place, unda kitchen table is good, coz yoo can still keep eye on da hoomans. Tell da hooman to turn da cookie cutters ova so ovver side gets cooked, or if dey doing one big pancayke dey gotta flip it ova in da pan. Hard hats not needed if dey got da mixture rite. Dey can always cheat an use a fish slice to turn da big one ova.

Give ovver side 1 or 2 minutes den pancaykes is dun. BUT dunt let da hoomans give yoo dem while dey still hot, cuz it'll burn our moufs and as well as hurtin and burnin us, it prevents us scoffing more pancaykes.

So wait til dey is almost cold before yoo eats dem.

Spose I shud say da boring bit. All treats shud be counted towards our daily calorie intake so if we haffin loadsa pancaykes we gets less dinner. pfftt Like da hoomans gonna stick to dat rule wen dey haf deres. *shakes head from side to side*

Now da kitteh recipe, it's praktily da same rilly apart from sum of da ingrediunts. To be honest its pretty tasty apart from da catnip in it.

Kiteeh pancaykes

4oz ground beef (or mince if yoo in UK)
3 teaspoons of oatmeal
1 egg
1 teaspoon of catnip

Make dem:

Nead all da ingrediunts tgevva and roll into little balls size of golf ball or smaller, and den flatten dem to bout 1/4inch.

Frow dem in fry pan and cook 3 or 4 mins each side, or sling em in da oven wif da hoomans dinner for half an hour at 425F degrees.

You can use tuna or any ova kind of fish insted of da beef, just dunt give dem so long cookin. Dey will stink da kitchen out too, so dont go blaming granma for peein her nickurs agen.

Dont give dem to kitteh strayt from oven or pan, cuz it'll burn dere moufs and make dere wiskurs go frizzy. Akchully kittehs got more sense dan eat anyfing too hot. Dey wil just look at dem as if dey rotten and walk away. Bahahaha